


bag of bones

by microbuns



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma, Explosions, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26727541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/microbuns/pseuds/microbuns
Summary: yukhei found himself trapped into the arms of his supposed enemy but luckily, he's always in the mood for a little bit of danger.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	1. mad dog

**Author's Note:**

> "Mother" in this story is a mysterious character and would only be given vague details about who she is until it's revealed. Please be careful while reading this story as it contains violence and topics such as prostitution, drugs and kidnapping that could be triggering for some. Proceed reading with caution.

If beauty was measured by how expensive an object was, then Mother owned a lot of pretty jewelries as she was pretty herself. She knew what she wanted, and played her cards well enough to have an empire wrapped around her pristine hands. 

She had great allies, one of which she treasured dearly. Wong Yukhei, her mad dog. The one who dirties his hands for her, the one who’d dodge a bullet for her without a doubt. Yukhei was her most valued accessory, but she’d get rid of him once he no longer benefits her. 

The lesson to this? Even the prettiest and most valued accessories are easy to go to waste, because stupid are those who’d dodge a bullet for others. 

“This man, what about him?” Mother took interest in a picture of a black haired man wearing a suit. 

“We can still verify but all fingers point to him,” Yukhei responded robotically, he was dead tired from all the research he’d done. It was less on taunting people and more on charming them to get information—thus, Yukhei thought it was unexciting. “He killed three of our drug mules and stole the cocaine they had in their stomachs, we cannot let this pass.” 

“And you got this information from?” Mother clicked her tongue, she was testing Yukhei’s honesty. Without fail, for the past seven years, Yukhei passed each test. 

“With the help of our latest recruit, Liu Yangyang. He had contact with the mules before they were killed, their burner phones were connected to Liu’s and before it was destroyed, Huang Guanheng’s face was seen.” Yukhei replied. 

Mother laughed, her voice was velvety. She had to cover her lips with her lithe fingers that had tattoos. Yukhei knew Mother too well, she was laughing to express how angry she was and not because she was humored. 

“Kill him,” Mother ordered with much conviction, burning the tip of her cigarette on top of Guanheng’s picture and afterwards tossing it aside. But her eyes landed on the left side of Guanheng’s, it was a red haired man, who looked like someone of great importance to her enemy. Her eyes glistened, forming an idea. “Kill him,” she repeated herself. 

“And bring him,” she pointed to the red haired man beside Guanheng, “to me.” 

Yukhei nodded and went outside of her office, it was yet another busy night for Mother’s mad dog. 

“Yukhei,” Yangyang startled him. The younger one seemed to have been smoking since Yukhei could smell it from his breath. 

“What do you want?” Yukhei glanced at his wristwatch and then returned his focus on Yangyang. 

“Do you know anything about Mark Lee?” Yangyang asked. “Because i’m pretty sure he’s about to negotiate with Mother later at dinner.” 

“Isn’t he a small time gang leader?” Yukhei laughed, some guts some people have. As if Mother would ever be satisfied with anything. No offer has ever lit her damned eyes. “I’m not entertained nor interested.” He almost turned his back to leave. 

“Yeah but I heard he wants to exchange you with his pet tiger, like an actual animal in exchange for you.” Yangyang smirked, “I bet you’re interested now?” 

“Who is this man?” Yukhei raised a brow. 

“I guess you’ll find out later?” Yangyang replied, “Not that I think Mother would agree to his offer anyway, she likes you too damn much it’s pathetic.” 

Yukhei turned his back at Yangyang although he wanted to learn more about Mark Lee. _Why would someone want to have him anyway?_

\---

The long dining table was filled with only two people, on one side was Mark Lee and the other, sat Mother. 

“Tell me,” Mark tasted the bitter coffee off of his tongue, he knew well that Mother was never a great ally— let alone, a great person. “What do you think of exchanging pets?” He always go straight to the business, beating around the bush wasn't his type of game. 

A laugh, that was what welcomed his question. Mother saw his deal as a joke, it seemed. She was unimpressed, but she always was. After all, what was there to want when you already own everything? 

“Do you think I’ll give away Yukhei just like that, Lee?” Mark could hear Mother’s bodyguards snicker. “What can a small time gang leader offer?” 

Mark was insulted, but he knew better and not to cause a scene if he wanted to get out of Mother’s lair alive. 

“I can offer you the tiger I own, the one I had exported from China.” Mark took a bite from the meat on his plate, Mother smiled at him. “You can give me your mad dog.” 

“I’m afraid Yukhei isn’t worth your tiger, my mad dog would never change loyalties.. an actual animal on the other hand, has instincts that tell them to eat when they’re hungry— they harbor no sense of loyalty at all.” 

Mark swallowed his food and wiped his lips with a napkin, “You haven’t seen my pet, she’s grown so well and is loyal to me.” 

Mother cackled and licked the excess sauce on her lips, as she rolled her eyes and looked at Mark dead in the eye. “Show me to her, then.” she said. 

Mark held out his hand, to say ‘wait’ as he finished eating his food. “Nala,” he called for his tiger. 

Mother had her hands together and she looked at Mark devilishly, as if she knew something. 

“Nala,” Mark called for his tiger once more. 

The gang leader tried calling for his tiger but never did she come to him, not even a sound was made to confirm her presence. 

“Lee,” Mother faked a yawn, “You know when your mother always told you to wait for her but she never returned?” 

Mark raised an eyebrow, “Nala!” he yelled again. 

“Does this scenario look familiar to you? But instead of calling for your mother’s name, you’re calling for your lousy tigress.” Mother took another bite from the meat, “And there’s one more thing familiar with this scenario but i’ll leave it for you to find out.” 

“Where is my tiger?” Mark sounded threatening, but he was more threatened by the woman right in front of him. One wrong move and he’s done. 

“Oh Mark, your mother sold her body to feed you until she couldn’t take it anymore that she had to leave you.. now take a wild wild guess who’s meat you’re eating right now.” Mother stood up and mockingly ate the last slice from her plate. “I love tiger’s meat, don’t you love it too?” 

Right on time, Yukhei entered the room with a confused face. 

“Ah look, my mad dog is alive and well.” Mother held his chin and smirked. Mark was paralyzed on his chair. “Wouldn’t you want to know how he tastes too?” 

Even if Yukhei found the situation weird, he did not utter a word. He was a mad dog, loyal and blindly trusting. 

Mark couldn’t even gather his thoughts, he wanted to vomit— he ate the meat of the pet he owned for four years. He felt sick, more-so he felt angered. 

“You’re sick!” Mark yelled and charged at Mother but everyone’s gun was pointed at him. Yukhei took him down to the floor with his bare hands and the last thing he saw was Mother getting out of the room with his pet tiger following her. Nala wasn’t dead, she disobeyed Mark and changed loyalties so quickly. 

What’s more important was that Mother was right, animals knew nothing about loyalty after all. But Mark had an interesting last thought before passing out, that Yukhei was not an exception. 


	2. Danger along the Apartment Complex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // violence, blood, drugs, grief and death. read at your own risk. 
> 
> please tell me if it's too confusing or if the contents are too much, i'm really sorry if that would be the case.

Grey haze and the smell of wine occupied Sicheng’s lungs causing his sleep to be disturbed. He turned his back at the man who was smoking and only his back tattoo was illuminated by the night light. 

“Hendery,” Sicheng clicked his tongue as his eyebrows curved into a frown. “What did I say about smoking inside my room?” 

But that didn’t stop Hendery from lighting another one. If only Sicheng didn’t know better, he would’ve left Hendery a long time ago. 

“I didn’t know you were awake,” reasoned Hendery, who quickly put off his cigarette. He gestured for Sicheng to come to him but the latter shook his head. 

“I don’t want to smell like shit,” Sicheng covered his nose. He noticed that not only Hendery was indulging in alcohol and cigarettes, he also has lines on the table near him. “I heard you stole that from Mother?” Sicheng pointed his lips at the table. 

Hendery laughed, “I did, Ten helped me actually. Accidentally bumped into their mules, figured they were new recruits since they didn’t know who I was.” 

“Why does Mother always hire new recruits? She won’t go very far with her strategy.” Sicheng stood up and sat beside Hendery, who was trying his best to act sober. 

“I feel like she’s always ahead of everyone, you see, Mother makes us think she’s weak yet she owns more than what you and I have combined.” Hendery scrunched his nose while explaining, there was a certain fire that Sicheng could see in his eyes— either it was envy or adoration, Sicheng was concerned for Hendery. 

“Do you want to beat her then—can you?” Sicheng asked, rubbing circles on Hendery’s thigh since he noticed how the younger had his thigh bouncing. 

“Of course I can, I’ll sit you on her throne as easy as I stole her cocaine.” Hendery promised Sicheng power, since it was what the elder lacked. But Sicheng doesn’t know how to feel about that. 

He wanted to live a normal life, where he and Hendery weren’t stealing, where he and Hendery weren't doing something illegal. But he doesn’t have the guts to say it to the younger, afraid that it would ruin what he has with him that took so long for him to build. 

“You’re quiet,” Hendery cupped Sicheng’s right cheek. “You never let me in that head of yours, Sicheng.” 

“It’s better that way,” Sicheng replied as Hendery kissed his temple. 

“Hendery?” Sicheng softly asked, contemplating on the right words to use. 

“Mhm?” 

“Would you ever run away with me if given the chance?” 

Hendery opened his mouth, but closed it again. They were both trapped in uncomfortable silence, but even if Hendery hadn’t supplied any answer it was clear to Sicheng that it would never happen. 

Hendery craved for power and that was not something Sicheng could offer. 

They were startled by the sudden knocking on the door, and it was from Ten. 

With wide eyes, Sicheng screamed for his life when he saw that Ten was bleeding. Hendery immediately took his gun with him and ordered for Sicheng to stick with Ten. 

“Who are they?” Hendery asked, filling his gun with bullets. 

“I think they work for Mother, I saw her mad dog.. he stabbed me on my stomach.” Ten’s face twisted upon trying to hold his wound so less blood would come out of him. 

Hendery was about to get out of the room when Sicheng held him by the wrist, “Ten was stabbed! What makes you think they wouldn’t do the same to you?” 

“There’s only two of them but I think a lot more are waiting outside the building, I can drive Sicheng away but how about you?” Ten looked at Hendery concerned, while Sicheng was on the verge of crying. 

“Make sure Sicheng’s safe.” Hendery and Ten exchanged glances, but Sicheng was too shaken to even look at them in the eye. 

That’s when suddenly, a few gunshots were heard and Ten immediately grabbed Sicheng to direct him out of the room by the other exit although Sicheng wanted nothing else but to come back inside to save Hendery. 

“Sicheng please, let’s leave.” Ten tried dragging the younger but he kept on wailing. 

Hendery met Yukhei eye to eye, the mad dog was wearing a mask but Hendery knew he was no other than Mother’s pet. 

“How was Mother’s cocaine?” Yukhei pointed his gun on Hendery’s leg. 

“You disrupted me but I enjoyed every bit of it,” Hendery replied, pointing his gun on Yukhei’s face. 

“Shoot,” Yukhei taunted, he even placed his mouth open for easy access. In Hendery’s peripheral vision he can see a smaller guy who held a baseball bat with him. That must’ve been Liu Yangyang. 

“I said shoot!!” Yukhei held the gun right in front of his own face, some guts this mad dog had, Hendery thought to himself. 

But when he tried to pull the trigger, his muscles seemed to be weak. He suddenly felt his knees give up, without knowing why. 

Then it hit him, the drugs were taking effect just in time. He was weaker than a crushed leaf. He could no longer move his limbs without it hurting too much. 

“Why won’t you shoot me huh?” Yukhei cackled, same as Yangyang. 

“Teach him how to use his gun,” Yangyang snatched the gun away from Hendery’s and gave it to Yukhei. 

“I’d be glad to do charity work,” Yukhei smiled and angled the gun on Hendery’s chest. “Here’s how you do it, babe.” 

Then he shot Hendery twice, just in time for Sicheng to see. 

“Sicheng!” yelled Ten who was afraid that they’d be the next ones to be shot. 

Sicheng was stubborn enough to run back into the room because to him, who would want to live if it meant Hendery wasn’t with him. 

“You can leave if you want to but I’m staying with Hendery!” Although shaking, Sicheng grabbed Hendery’s hand and held his face while crying. 

Ten hid from the back door as he held his gun near his chest. 

“Please, please, let's just run away together.” Sicheng begged, but Hendery couldn’t form any words. It felt surreal, like it was a nightmare of some sort. 

Ten peeked through a crack and saw that Yukhei was eyeing Sicheng. He immediately entered the room and shot Yukhei’s leg. 

“Motherfucker!” yelled Yukhei who gestured for Yangyang to go get Ten. 

Ten went to run out of the room but he was hit by a baseball bat on his back causing him to fall down and lose consciousness, the last thing he heard was how devastated Sicheng sounded crying, pleading the heavens to bring back Hendery. 

The room was a mess, Hendery was dead on the floor while Sicheng kept on crying on top of him. Yukhei and Yangyang carried Ten out of the room and placed him on the trunk of their car. 

“What about the other guy?” Yangyang tried to go back to Sicheng, but Yukhei stopped him. 

“Mother ordered me to kill Guanheng and to bring this man,” he gestured to the unconscious Ten, “to her.. I’m bleeding and we don’t have much time.” 

“What if he comes back at us?” Yangyang loaded his gun upon asking. 

“You think he will? That’s Guanheng’s doll, what can he do?” Yukhei snorted, and then went on driving back to Mother’s lair. 

———

“You’re crazy,” Yukhei said as Yangyang opened the trunk of their car once they arrived, all the while Ten was still unaware of the fact that he was kidnapped. 

“I’m crazy?” Yangyang lifted his brow, “Get him out and bring him to Mother so she can reward us.” 

“Why do I always do these?” Yukhei groaned, but he picked Ten up nonetheless. “My leg still hurts.” 

“Because no one has been inside her room apart from you,” Yangyang replied. “Hell, no one even knows what she looks like.” 

“Don’t dream of her infront of me, I feel sick.” Yukhei dragged his other leg while carrying Ten, the other looked so enticing asleep. But then Yukhei was reminded that this was the man who shot his leg just hours ago so he felt enraged. 

Mother’s room was right around the corner, when a man a little shorter than him blocked his way. He must’ve been another one of their new recruits. 

“Move,” Yukhei sternly ordered. 

“I’m very sorry,” the man replied, “Mother left a note for you inside, i think.” 

“Where is she?” Yukhei let out a huge sigh of disappointment. 

“I have no idea but I think she left with her driver?” 

“What’s your name?” Yukhei asked, examining the man’s face. He was always alert when it comes to people visiting the hall where Mother’s room was. 

“Xiaojun,” the other replied. 

“No one’s allowed to enter Mother’s room. You didn’t, did you?” Xiaojun shook his head. 

“Good,” Yukhei patted his shoulder and entered Mother’s room. 

Mother’s jewelry was blinding, she left the money Yukhei and Yangyang earned on the table along with a short note that read, “I’m out clubbing, dress him with anything inside my wardrobe and tie him to the basement where Lee is.” the lipstick stain on the bottom part made Yukhei cringe. 

______

Blinding strobe lights, busy crowds, and cheap drinks. These are what filled Kun’s everyday life ever since he got kicked out of college for being accused of stalking one of his teacher’s daughters. It wasn’t the truth, he was a diligent student, he liked everyone yet they saw him as competition. 

He was supposed to graduate that year, he was sure he’d be graduating with flying colors. He helped his classmates along the way by tutoring them at home because he was kind like that— but little did he know that he was being set up. 

And now, he’s wasting every little money he had left. The kindness that he once had died out like the cigarette he just crushed with his shoe. 

On the other side of the club, he sees someone just as gloomy as he was. 

The person sat on the corner of the club, hands on his head and was rejecting all the people that came to him. 

His guts told him to approach the man, with no thoughts on why and how. 

“Are you alright?” He bent his knees to check on the other person’s face. 

“Leave me alone,” the stranger pushed him away. 

“I’m sorry,” Kun replied. “I just wanted to check on you.” 

The man lifted his head up to look at Kun, he was clearly wasted yet he still looked stunning even with his huge eyebags and pale skin. 

“Who are you?” the stranger asked. 

“I’m Kun-“

“No, I don’t care.” he was quickly dismissed, “Who are you to check on me? Are you one of them?” 

Kun sat beside the man, “One of them? Are you alright?” 

The stranger clicked his tongue and poured a drink on one of the glasses, while Kun was frozen on his seat. 

“Drink,” 

Kun reluctantly took the glass and sipped on it. The drink was expensive, Kun knew because it was not what he usually ordered. 

“You’re not one of them, but even if you turn out to be— please just do your job and end my life so I can be with him.” The man’s voice was shaky and he held Kun’s hands while he talked about how he buried the man he loved as the night passed. 

Kun listened although the story lacked major details, on who the stranger was, how his lover died, why he didn’t hire anybody to bury the body for him. The questions were piling up. 

“Will I ever see you again?” Kun asked when the stranger stopped sharing his story to him. 

“Just know that my name’s Sicheng.” was the reply he got and it only harbored more interest in him. 

Kun went to the club every night but every time, it was with the intent to see Sicheng again. He even tried to find the latter’s social media accounts but there were none. He hasn’t figured out his last name, yet Sicheng occupied his mind day and night. There was something that dragged Kun to go to Sicheng, but he was still yet to find out what. 

Until he came across a few articles, a few news headlines and he had his eyes wide open upon the realization that Sicheng wasn’t just an ordinary person that he thought he was. He doesn’t know if the night he talked to Sicheng somehow linked him to danger, Kun doesn’t know what to do to be safe from harm. 

The feeling was similar to when their dean was telling him that he’s about to be kicked out of school, the twist his stomach made, the sweat on his whole body, and the frightened look on his face. 

And Kun thinks,  _ A pretty face never fails to entail danger. _


	3. broyeur de crâne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for a short summary of this chapter: lumark interacts & we'll know more about yangyang and "Mother".

After Yukhei was done cleaning Ten’s wound, he picked the latter gently to place him in the basement with Mark. If you’d ask Yukhei, he was getting tired of his job but he couldn’t do anything. 

His father messed up and owed Mother a lot of money, Yukhei sometimes wished he was the one behind bars and more times he wished he was dead. 

And ever since his father was imprisoned, he only visited him in the form of nightmares and resurfaced trauma. 

He was then adopted by Mother, where he once was happy that he got to call someone Mother for the first time. 

Yet he only realized who Mother really was and why he was adopted by her. Came his 15th birthday and his birthday gift was a gun, that’s also the time when his “Mother” started ordering him around. 

Yukhei tied Ten’s legs similar to how Mark’s were. 

“Who are you?” groaned Mark who was curled up in a ball, he gripped his stomach hard and breathed heavily. 

“They haven’t fed you?” hell, even Yukhei has no idea why he’s concerned. 

“Does it seem like they did? I’m starving.. but I don’t want to eat-“ Yukhei went closer to where Mark was laying. “I’m not eating after what she did, or what she made me believe.. I don’t think I can.” 

“Sit down and don’t even think of talking to him,” Yukhei ordered, motioning to Ten. 

But when Mark had not moved nor replied, he had to sit Mark up himself. He also lifted Mark’s chin to see his face, he was glad there’s no one around to see Mark like that but him. “I’m getting you food okay?” 

“I said I don’t want to-“ 

“I’m not saying you have to, but just in case you would want to at least there would be food down here.” Yukhei stood up and left. 

Mark went back into his former position, his hands in between his thighs as he cried silently. He managed to sit back up when he heard the door bustling open again and it revealed Yukhei, carrying a food tray and what appears to be a nightgown. 

“Share this meal with him,” Yukhei said and placed the food tray down in between Mark and Ten. “If he ever wakes up, do not talk to him about anything aside from the food.” Yukhei warned, putting emphasis on the word ‘not’. 

“Why are you acting nice?” Mark asked, looking at the way Yukhei parts the meal in two equal portions. 

“Why did you ask Mother to exchange me with the tiger you owned for years?” Yukhei raised a brow, while Mark was silent. “See how you have an answer yet it’s better not to let me know? Now wear this Lee.” he handed him the night gown. 

“This is Mother’s?” Mark asked, feeling the mesh fabric of the top layer of the night gown. “She’ll find out that you got this from her closet, you know.” 

Yukhei nodded, “I know, but it’s not like she’d kill me.” 

Mark placed the night gown on the floor right beside him, “I can’t change into this.” 

“You haven’t changed for what? Four days?” Yukhei grabbed the nightgown and turned around when Mark yelled. 

“I mean I can’t because my legs are tied!” 

It made Yukhei sigh, he had completely forgotten. 

“Don’t try to do things, Lee.” Yukhei went back to release Mark from the ropes. It had made a mark on the latter’s legs, bright red in color. 

“You’re the one doing things, Yukhei.” Mark replied. “I know it’s impossible to get out of here, even if I manage to get away from you Mother would find ways to hunt me down.” 

Yukhei wasn’t even listening, he just guided Mark from removing his shirt, then his pants and shoes. There was a short moment of eye contact between them, which was quickly broken when Mark’s eyes were covered by the night gown as he wore it. 

After it’s all done and Mark was wearing the night gown, Yukhei tied the rope tightly on his legs again. Mark just observed him. 

Yukhei looked up at Mark’s face, expressionless. 

“What are you looking at?” Mark asked, embarrassed. 

“A stupid person, that’s what i’m looking at.” Yukhei sarcastically replied, “Tell me honestly, why did you want to own me?” 

“Yukhei I know why you’re here,” Mark replied, it made Yukhei nervous if he were to be honest. And that feeling was something he hadn’t felt in so long, perhaps because he projected that he was fearless in front of other people. 

“What do you know?” Yukhei went closer to Mark, so the other could just whisper. 

“.. Your father-“ Mark was about to release some important information when they heard Mother yelling Yukhei’s name along with a few loud noises and a voice of a man screaming. 

It shut both of them up, afraid that they were caught talking about something they shouldn’t. 

Yukhei got up and went to Mother. 

Leaving Mark all scared and lonely in the basement again. 

——

Yukhei witnessed a lot of things he was supposed to fear, but this was the one thing he feared the most. 

_ He was so close in getting information, why did Mother have to call for him at the right moment? Why is she always so good at timing?  _

But he was not prepared for what he saw once he stepped inside Mother’s room. 

The new recruit, who he recalled was named Xiaojun, was pinned on the floor by Mother. Xiaojun was bleeding although it wasn’t that bad since he’s still recognizable it’s still fucked up. 

But it was not only that, Mother was out of drag. So it appeared that Xiaojun saw her in that way which made her very upset. 

“Why is he inside my room?” Mother’s voice said it all, she was agitatedly furious. “And more importantly, why was my room unlocked?!” 

Yukhei then knew he’s screwed, he forgot to lock the door when he went inside to get one of Mother’s nightgowns. 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone,” Xiaojun pleaded while still being pinned on the floor. “Please I will remain silent.” 

Mother grabbed Xiaojun by his hair, “You really will remain silent if I chop your tongue off.” 

“Please don’t!” Xiaojun replied. 

“Call Liu Yangyang and do whatever you want to do with this nosy bastard.” Mother snapped her finger in front of Yukhei, who was both relieved that he was not called because of what he and Mark did, but at the same time surprised that Xiaojun entered Mother’s room. 

He picked Xiaojun up, and dragged him out of Mother’s room. Even when they were outside they could hear Mother cursing out loud and violently breaking some things inside her room. 

Yukhei got his burner phone out and called Yangyang, who immediately answered on the first ring. 

“Fourth floor, now.” He said and ended the call with Yangyang. 

The kid was energetic and he always brought his baseball bat with him. Xiaojun wasn’t fond of that fact. 

“Woah, what did you do?” Yangyang said after seeing Xiaojun’s condition. 

“He went inside Mother’s room,” Yukhei answered for Xiaojun.

“I didn’t know that rule was that serious,” Yangyang commented foolishly, looking at how fucked up Xiaojun’s face was. “What more do we have to do to him? He looks like shit already.” 

“I’m leaving it all to you, I have... to go elsewhere.” Yukhei replied. 

Yangyang placed his arm around Xiaojun, “Have fun, Yukhei.” Xiaojun removed Yangyang’s arm from him. 

“Just kill me already, make it quick.” Xiaojun closed his eyes and waited for Yangyang to do something. 

He waited and waited, but Yangyang didn’t do anything. 

“Open your eyes, boy.” Yangyang said. 

He reluctantly did, because he was told to do so. 

And when he finally did, he saw how Yangyang’s baseball bat was on his hand but it wasn’t aimed at him. 

“She wouldn’t notice if I touch you or not, your face is really that ugly already.” Yangyang chuckled and hit the wall beside Xiaojun’s head with his bat. It made Xiaojun flinch. “Now let’s go down.” invited Yangyang. 

“What if she wanted me dead?” Xiaojun anxiously asked, looking behind them once in a while. 

“If she did, she’d do it herself.” Yangyang replied. Then Xiaojun realized something, that this scenario must’ve happened to Yangyang too. That’s why he was speaking factually. 

“Did she.. ever hurt you like this?” Xiaojun danced around eggshells when talking with Yangyang, he underestimated the younger when he first saw him because of his age, but now he knew he thought wrong. 

“I just got here seven months ago, she favored me for some reason, made me go with Yukhei but she still didn’t like me as much as she liked him.” Yangyang started sharing, “I haven’t even seen her face, it was always covered with a mask whenever I talked to her. I tried to be as great as Yukhei but I failed once and she almost fed me with bullets but Yukhei stopped her.” 

“What did you do?” Xiaojun more liked whispered the question, afraid that he’s not prepared for the answer. 

“I tried to poison her,” Yangyang laughed to himself, “She was smart enough not to eat the meal I prepared, tough luck.” 

“Why would you want to poison her?” Xiaojun asked once more, intrigued. 

“None of your business,” Yangyang replied, “How about you? What did you do?” 

Xiaojun looked behind them again, afraid for his life. 

“I don’t know what it’s called but she-“ 

“Does drag? Wears wigs and applies heavy makeup and you saw her out of drag didn’t you?” Yangyang finished for him. 

“How did you know?” Xiaojun suddenly regretted opening his mouth. 

“Did you ever wonder why Mother always hires recruits?” Xiaojun shook his head, “It’s because the old ones found out that she had to kill them.” 

Xiaojun’s eyeballs widened at what he heard, “Then why didn’t she kill me?” 

Yangyang smirked, “There’s only two reasons, one is that you don’t threaten her in any way.. or two, you’re one of the pawns she’ll later use in whatever scheme she has planned.” 

“Which one am I?” 

“Why don’t you ask her that and get yourself butchered?” Yangyang replied sarcastically, “She doesn’t know that I know her secret though.” 

Xiaojun looked at Yangyang as he talked. He may not admit it, but it was a breather every time he got to talk with someone as if he was normal. Their banter never failed in helping him escape his negative thoughts. 

“And i’m not saying you shouldn’t snitch on me, but in case you do, just know that i’ll drag you down in every layer of hell imaginable.” Yangyang threatened, but Xiaojun felt the exact opposite, he was in fact relieved that he wasn’t the only one who knew Mother’s secret. 

“I wouldn’t tell a soul,” he promised. 

\---- 

Inside Mother’s room was a mess, failure always made her skin crawl. She was too caught up watching Yukhei and Mark converse in the basement on her cctv that she didn’t notice Xiaojun standing right in front of her door, frozen. 

She would’ve killed him right there and then but then that would mean getting another recruit. Which was easy, by the way. But there was something in Xiaojun that is hard to find within the others. 

He was curious, which was proven by how he dared entered her room just like that. He was also Yangyang’s competition, if she favored Xiaojun then Yangyang would go crazy just to beat him to it. And Mother always loved a good drama, especially when she’s the cause of it. 

Yangyang kept secrets from her, but she kept even bigger secrets that the young boy is yet to find out. 

She was happy for a moment until she was reminded of Sicheng, oh how she hated that he had to be born and be her weakness. She’d do anything to have him removed from every surface of the world since Yukhei failed to do it for her. 

Her mad dog was sometimes very foolish. Loyal, yes. But foolish. 

  
  



	4. rage syndrome

Inside Ten’s dream, he was swaying softly to an unknown humming that only he can hear. It was a melody his mind had been circling around on. But he doesn’t recall where he had heard it. 

“Yongqin!” a little boy’s voice was heard. Ten kept searching from where the sound was coming from. Yet there was no one with him inside the house and it was on fire— but Ten kept swaying to the song. 

“Yongqin i’ll come back for you!” the little boy’s voice sounded broken, broken like how his promise was. 

Ten looked outside the window and he saw his mother dragging his little brother away from the burning house, “We can’t die with him,” his mother said. He saw how his brother was crying very hard, how he wanted to be with Ten. 

“I’ll be okay-“ he wanted to say, but he had forgotten his brother’s name. 

There were people screaming until the wooden walls of the house broke down on him, and then he woke up from his dream. 

Ten was sweating so much that he felt feverish. The worst types of nightmares are resurfaced memories that Ten thought was already over for him. 

A man had his back turned from him and he rushed to see if it was Sicheng, but Ten’s body still ached as his wounds hadn't still healed. Any wrong move and he felt like his body would be torn into pieces. 

Due to the noise he made, the man faced him. 

He was surprised to see Ten awake and he offered the plate for him to eat. But Ten refused, because the man’s identity still remained anonymous. 

“Do you work for her?” asked Ten. 

The stranger showed him his restrained legs, “I don’t know, guess.” he replied. 

“You look familiar,” Ten rubbed his eyes and tried to recall when and where he thought he saw the man’s face. 

“They fucked with your skull that hard,huh?” Mark shook his head, “I used to run a couple of casinos with Guanheng, how is he?” 

The question made Ten’s heart drop. He saw how cruel the mad dog treated Guanheng as he breathed his last breath. And, Sicheng, the poor boy. He had to witness it right in front of him. 

“Yukhei, was it? The mad dog? He killed Guanheng and I have no idea if they touched Sicheng.” Ten delivered the unfortunate news to Mark, who seemed to be both surprised and confused. 

“Who’s Sicheng?” Mark asked. 

“I have no business telling other people how they are related but Sicheng was the one who persuaded me to work for Guanheng so I think he’s been with him for a long time now, how come you didn’t hear about him from Guanheng at least?” Ten tried to check his wounds as he spoke. “I mean, if you knew me because of Guanheng.. I’d assume you’d know about Sicheng too.” 

“Ah, Guanheng really is secretive when it comes to things like this. He always looks out for the ones he loved.” Mark commented, not knowing how he had hurt Ten with the way he said it. 

Turns out, Guanheng never had noticed how Ten looked out for him all those years. He was too busy looking after Sicheng. 

“I guess so,” Ten shortly replied. 

The two of them had been caught talking by none other than Mother and her mad dog. They knew this because there was no way Mother would come down to the dusty basement right when Ten just woke up. There must’ve been a cctv hidden in the basement. 

Mother wore mesh gloves that were red in color, it matched her dangling red earrings along with her black mask that covered the whole of her face. Beside her was the naive mad dog that looked pissed off. 

Ten and Mark exchanged glances, unsure of what to expect. 

“Nice nightgown,” she vaguely said. But Mark knew she was referring to the one he’s wearing. Yukhei wasn’t moving when she commented about it. “I have even more prettier ones in my room yet you decided to steal an ordinary looking one. I’m afraid you lack taste, Lee.” 

“Why don’t we question your mad dog’s taste then? Since he’s the one who stole it for me to wear?” Yukhei looked at Mark as if he was betrayed, but Mark wouldn’t want to be dragged in hell alone. 

“Oh shall we?” Mother looked at Yukhei from top to bottom. “Considering the fact that he’d steal from me for someone as unattractive as you-“ 

“I didn’t steal, Mother.” Yukhei cut her off. “I changed his clothes just as you ordered.” 

“I was referring to Ten when I left that note.” behind her mask hid her smirk, but the tone of her voice made it clear that she’s sure of what she ordered Yukhei to do. 

“Then I must have misunderstood,” Yukhei replied. “I’m sorry.” 

“Yes you did,” Mother patted Yukhei’s head. “Now go bring Ten to my room, we have a lot of catching up to do.” 

The mad dog nodded and took the rope off of Ten’s legs. 

Mother went to her room so Yukhei had the opportunity to tell Mark that he’s not over with him. Whatever that meant, Mark was entertained. 

\----

“Shut the fuck up and tell me where my brother is-” was what Ten had said upon entering Mother’s room. He was accompanied by Yukhei who also left afterwards as per Mother’s order. 

“That’s not how you beg, Yongqin.” Mother poured wine on the flute wine glass. 

Hearing the name made Ten’s fist clench, he found it difficult to hear and his vision was becoming blurry from anger. “I no longer go by that name,” he said. 

“Okay, Ten. Beg.” Mother snapped and soon enough a tiger growled, but it was trapped inside of a cage. “Some guts you have to think I wouldn’t kill him before I kill you-”

“You wouldn’t kill my brother,” Ten cut her off, but he sounded unsure. He didn’t know a single thing about Mother, but he sure did hear a few telltales about her father. He was a known man, known for all the wrong things he has done. His death was sudden, and Mother took over his job as if she had expected his death even before it occurred. 

“But I did,” Mother wrapped her hands on the glass, her eyes not once left Ten’s. 

“I-is Yukhei my brother?” Ten doesn’t know why but he felt something strange whenever Yukhei was there, like he was part of his past. He could be his brother, but Ten was so young when he got separated with his brother that he couldn’t even recall his name nor his face. 

Hearing that made Mother sneer, her laughter was echoing due to the mask she wore. 

“I knew you were stupid, going after your former boss’ heart when he doesn’t even see you that way. But now, you think Yukhei is related to you in some way? I have to laugh.” Mother extended her hand to give Ten the wine glass. 

But instead of the flute wine glass, he reached for Mother’s glove and had successfully removed it. His eyes broaden, not expecting the similar looking dragon tattoo on her hand. 

They looked at eachother mystified, it didn’t make any sense to Ten. 

“Who are you?” he said and removed Mother’s mask. 

  
  


\----

“You ratted me out,” Yukhei said as he reached the basement and saw Mark eating the food he gave him. 

“You would have done the same,” came the latter’s stoical answer. “wouldn’t you?” 

“I was finding the right words to use,” the mad dog reasoned, although he knew to himself he wouldn’t have done anything to save Mark had he not known anything that could be beneficial for him. 

“You’re here, why is that?” Mark looked at Yukhei for the first time since Yukhei came to him. 

“I’m ready to listen, what do you know about me?” Yukhei sat in front of Mark, who was too busy staring at him to even respond. “Come on, tell me.” 

“I need you to answer some questions first,” Mark bit his lip. “Am I a chore to you, Yukhei?” 

The question caught him open-mouthed. If he were to be honest, he was conflicted with how he felt towards Mark. All he knew was that he wouldn’t treat others the way he did with Mark but he also was aware that someone like him was not capable of love. 

Love was something people like him lacked, how could he possibly give something he’s never had? 

“A chore?” he dumbly echoed. 

“You know what I mean, are you only kind to me because you know I know something about you?” Mark doesn’t even want to hear an answer at that point, he wanted to blindly ignore everything that goes against what he had made himself believe. 

“I might know the answer once you tell me what you know,” Yukhei replied. 

Mark let out a chuckle in defeat, “Of course,” he said. 

“Your father lost a lot of money in gambling, he owed my father a lot. But since they were somewhat friends, my father allowed him to work for the money he’s owed him. It did not make sense to me why such a rich man would visit our house and have his son play with me.” Mark had melancholic eyes, Yukhei wished he understood why. “Your father had an affair with Mother’s mother. She wasn’t even known as ‘Mother’ yet, but I forgot what her name was before. I believe she had it changed.” 

“Where is this story going? I’m sorry but I don’t have the time-” 

“You’re working for Mother because your father already paid his debt through you.” Mark cut it short. 

“I thought he owed your father, then why did he have to give me to Mother?” Yukhei looked frustrated. 

“Both Mother’s mother and my father scammed him, they said they have evidence to show to the people that could ruin his reputation. It was a photo of him burning down a building where his other family lived on.” Yukhei continued to listen despite the twist in his guts. Something was telling him to leave but he cannot physically move at all. 

“H-he had another family?” Yukhei asked, dejected. 

Mark nodded, “I think Mother allowed my father to acquire half of the money she earned as long as he doesn’t become as powerful as her, but she betrayed him and your father that’s why he’s in jail right now. She reported the case of the burnt building and managed to frame my father as well.” 

“Then she pretended to adopt me, is that it?” Yukhei asked with hunched shoulders. 

“I’m afraid she did and I know this is already too much but I think your father killed one of your half-brothers with the fire. It was reported that only his mistress and one of her two sons survived.” 

“Do you know who they are? Any information perhaps?” Yukhei was hopeful, he wanted to find the only family he might have left. 

“That’s all that I know,” Mark replied. 

Yukhei’s tears fell, he had not been allowing himself to be vulnerable for so long it felt uncanny that he’s crying in front of Mark. 

His phone vibrated, but he couldn’t get himself to answer Mother’s call. 

“Mark?” Yukhei blurted, “I’m getting you out of here.” 

He untied the rope from Mark’s legs and to his surprise, Mark jumped to him and embraced him. 

“I don’t have to leave yet,” Mark whispered in his ear. 

“I’m going to kill Mother.” Yukhei professed, hugging Mark tighter. 

Mark’s stomach felt weird, it’s telling him to run away. To leave Yukhei alone or to warn him about Mother’s power. But despite all those he chose to stay beside Yukhei, either Mother dies or they do. 

  
  



	5. through and through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // blood and violence, please be careful !

Xiaojun was acting weird ever since he found out about Mother’s true identity, he was acting as if he was on pins and needles. Yangyang thought he’d earn Mother’s trust, but it turned out to be the complete opposite. The filthy liked filth after all. 

Yangyang saw how Mother treated Xiaojun differently, she was praising him or acknowledging his existence to which she never does to Yangyang. Xiaojun expressed how sketchy Mother was acting around him but he couldn’t care less. Not until he received a call from Mother asking him to come up to her room, because according to her own words, “Xiaojun told me interesting things about you”. 

He grabbed Xiaojun by the collar the moment he saw him and pummeled him until he was kneeling on the ground for his life.

“You stupid bastard, I trusted you!” Yangyang was infuriated. “I’ll shred your guts and once i’m done with it i’ll feed it to Mother since the two of you liked kissing each other’s asses.” 

“Yang, I have no idea why you are mad at me.” Xiaojun wailed, gasping for air. He coughed and grabbed his stomach because it hurted. 

“You broke your word and told Mother about things you shouldn’t have!” Yangyang swung his baseball bat and tried to aim for Xiaojun’s head. 

“I didn’t! Believe me!” the latter beseech him to stop. 

“I don’t want to see you ever again, because if I do I might kill you.” Yangyang angrily left Xiaojun on the ground, to go to Mother’s room as she asked him to. 

  
  


\----

“What took you so long?” Mother had a mask on, but it appeared disheveled as if someone tried to take it off of her. 

“Why do you want me here? You never let me in before.” Yangyang refused to answer her question. 

It was true that Mother never let him inside her room before, but it didn’t stop him from sneaking inside. He sat on her chair one time, stole some of her money that she’s too lazy to even notice that the money had been missing from her drawers, he even destroyed some of her clothing. But little did Yangyang know that Mother had cctv cameras installed everywhere, she was delighted with how anger controlled Yangyang. He was too controlled by his emotions; he sometimes does not use his head at all. Just like earlier when he beated Xiaojun up with no proper evidence but a text and a threat from her. 

“A friend wants to see you, Liu.” Mother turned her head to the direction where the tiger’s cage is. Yangyang noticed how someone else, who he recalled was one of Guanheng’s men, was inside the cage with the oh-so-curious tigress. “He’s sleeping right now but I bet he’d be surprised to see you!” 

“What does he need from me?” Yangyang asked. 

“Nala hasn’t eaten in weeks,” Mother sighed, “But I bet you know that, huh? Considering the amount of times I’ve caught you coming here.” 

Yangyang doesn’t know why he should be concerned for the man inside the cage, as long as it wasn’t him, he shouldn’t be concerned in any way, right? 

“This is my first time in here-” 

“Don’t try to lie to me, Liu. You tried to kill me twice and now I’m going to make you watch what my tiger will do to your brother.” Mother snapped her finger and it made the tiger growl loud enough to wake Ten up. 

“Excuse me, who?” Yangyang’s heart was racing, he doesn’t know if Mother was being serious and that was his brother right there or not. “Is he Yongqin?” he mumbled. 

“Run!” Ten immediately said upon waking up. 

“I’ll come back for you!” he tried to say but Yukhei blocked the door and held him. 

Mother was laughing insanely. 

The scenario was too familiar, too traumatic. 

“Yukhei, you’re being brainwashed by Mother!” Yangyang tried to get out of his hold but he couldn’t, he was weaker. He can perfectly see how the tiger was approaching his brother and he couldn’t do anything about it. “Let me go!” 

The mad dog tightened his grip around Yangyang’s arms and held him close. 

“On the count of three, run away and bring Xiaojun with you.” Yukhei entrusted Yangyang to do as he said. 

He could feel Yangyang’s irregular heartbeat, but it was not only him who was nervous as Yukhei himself was too but he was better at hiding it. 

_3_

_2_

  
  


_1_

  
  


Yangyang ran away from Yukhei and the mad dog trained his gun towards Mother all the while Mark jumped from a vent to let Ten out of the cage. 

  
  


_“Dong Sicheng!”_ both Ten and Mark looked at Yukhei. 

Mother covered her ears, not wanting to hear the name she loathed so much. 

Ever since she was a child she was ridiculed for being a ‘Dong’, she was expected to be manly like her father. 

But due to the frustration she took her mask off and Ten couldn’t believe Mother and Sicheng were really the same person. 

Yukhei saw Mother out of drag countless times as a child, but when he saw him the day he killed Guanheng he knew something was very off. He had to look at him crying over Guanheng’s body as if he didn’t know Yukhei would attack that day. But he played along as he tried to find for answers as to what his plan was. 

Ten charged at Sicheng and took the wig off of him and grabbed his neck. 

“You ordered to kill Guanheng and had the courage to cry as if you didn’t take part in it?!” The sour taste in Ten’s tongue made him retch. It still didn’t make any sense, how could Sicheng do this? 

“He hired a hitman to kill you,” Sicheng maniacally laughed as he said it, struggling to breathe because Ten’s hand was still on his neck. “And he did it because he loved me that much.” 

“Then why-” Ten cried, “Why didn’t you just let the hitman kill me?!” 

“A boy makes you act like this, Yongqin?” Sicheng retaliated, “I did you a favor and befriended the hitman, yet you’ll repay me like this?” 

“I don’t care! You can’t bring Guanheng back! He loved you- He- He chose you over me and you-” Ten accidentally let go of Sicheng’s neck because he punched him in the face. 

“I what?!” Sicheng yelled, tearing the gloves off of his hands. “He says he loves me but he wouldn’t do what I ask of him. Everyone had a lot of say, don’t they? ‘Sicheng’s weak, he can’t hurt nor kill,’ But each time Guanheng talked about ‘Mother’ he envied her not knowing I’m right in front of him!” 

“Shoot me!” Sicheng yelled at Yukhei who kept glancing back and forth at Mark and him. Mark ran towards Ten to pick him up. 

But as they silently tried to leave, Sicheng was shot in the stomach causing him to fall down and bleed. 

“I didn’t,” Yukhei immediately replied once Mark looked into his direction. 

Mark then peered to the window and saw someone holding a gun, but this time it was aimed at Yukhei. 

Yukhei tried to shoot the hitman but it was too late. 

The bullet went through Mark’s back, Yukhei realized it was because he dodged it for him. His knees sank on the floor as he tried to carry Mark. He picked up his gun and attempted to shoot the hitman but he was no longer there. 

“What did I say about dodging bullets for someone?” Sicheng had the energy to laugh even though he was coughing out blood. “I’m sick of everyone.” he said and passed out. 

Yukhei hurriedly carried Mark because he can’t afford to have the other lose more blood. They were both out of breath, Mark caressed the small of Yukhei’s face and wiped a tear off from it. 

“You’re going to be alright,” Yukhei tried to reassure him.

“As long as you are alive, I will be fine.” Mark smiled at him, but instead of him being hopeful, it was also the first time in many years that Yukhei felt fear. 

  
  
  



	6. playdate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // wound, death and mention of being physically ill.

Ten went outside the room limping, his injuries still hadn't healed. He had no idea where Yukhei brought Mark to but he knew he had to escape, he heard the ticking of a bomb from when he was trapped inside the tiger’s cage. Sicheng really wanted out and he planned to die today, Ten on the contrary doesn’t want to die just yet. 

He crossed paths with Yangyang and Xiaojun and immediately guided the two outside, he warned them of the bomb. 

“Mother hasn’t gotten out of the place,” Xiaojun looked back at the building for the last time before following Ten and Yangyang. 

“She knows, she’s the one who set that bomb up.” Ten replied, panting. 

———

Kun went inside Sicheng’s room through the open window, he threw his weapon on the ground and ran towards the almost lifeless body on the floor. 

“Sicheng!” he yelled as he tried to carry him out, he was praying— something he hasn’t done in so long. His lips mumbled wishful prayers, unsure whether or not someone’s listening. “You told me to kill Mother... why... why?!” 

“I will be with Guanheng now, put me down and grab all the money from my drawer and leave while you still have the time.” Sicheng’s voice was commanding. 

“No, no.” Kun lifted Sicheng’s body from the floor. “I can’t leave you like this!” 

“There’s a bomb, Kun. I made sure that i’d die today, so please get your money and leave me here.” Sicheng pushed him away. “I want to be with Guanheng.” 

“I want to be with you,” Kun shamelessly admitted. “I’ll stay here, Sicheng.” 

“You’re stupid, if I were you I’d get my money and run away.” 

“Don’t you understand me? I was never after your money nor your power, I’m not Guanheng, and I will stay here.” Kun replied, laying on the floor next to Sicheng. 

“You can’t be with me, I’m going to hell.” Sicheng jokes, but his laugh was humorless. He was out of breath and on the brink of dying. 

“I don’t care at all,” Kun held Sicheng’s hand and closed his eyes. If Sicheng was right and heaven and hell did exist, Kun knew where he’d go to anyway. 

“Sicheng?” Kun looked at him but he was immobilized, “I love you.” 

The bomb then exploded, causing the whole city into panic. They were on the news, on papers, their faces were seen everywhere. Seoul speaks stories, even if it weren’t true. And when Seoul speaks, it spreads fast. 

Ten had to laugh at the variations their story had turned into, some days he was a good guy in their eyes, some days he was as bad as Sicheng was. But he didn’t care, all he cared about was leaving the country with Yangyang once they earned enough money to do so. 

“We’ll soon migrate to China, if you haven’t heard.” Yangyang informed Xiaojun, who was laying on his lap all morning. “Have you heard any news from Yukhei and Mark?” 

The boy looked at him in the eyes, and shook his head. 

“I tried searching for them but I couldn’t find them anywhere. Do you think they’re still alive?” Xiaojun pressed his lips close to Yangyang’s thigh, “Do you think they’re searching for us too?” 

Yangyang didn’t have an immediate answer, four months have passed. Yet they have no idea where the two have gone or if they even made it out of the building alive. 

“I hope they’re safe,” Yangyang settled with that reply and played with Xiaojun’s hair. 

“Can I come to China with you?” Xiaojun shyly asked, not knowing what reaction he’ll get. But the lack of response made Xiaojun even more anxious. “We can start over, a new country, new life.” 

“Of course we can,” Yangyang smiled at him, “I’m sorry for taking my anger out on you that day, I.. I know you said that it’s already in the past but it still bothers me.” 

“I have already forgiven you even before you asked for forgiveness, so you need to learn how to forgive yourself as well.” Xiaojun replied, sitting up. 

“Let’s leave this country and never return? Will you please do that with me?” Yangyang asked him. 

Although, Xiaojun was bad at communicating but he knew Yangyang was being sincere and he just didn't know how to respond properly so he had to seal their deal with a kiss. 

  
  


———

**Busan**

_“An ally of the infamous gang leader ‘Mother’ is recently identified as someone who goes by the name Wong Yukhei, 21 years old, which is currently on the run from the police..”_

Yukhei covered the upper portion of his face with his cap, trying his best to look insusceptible from the local news. But the city was filled with very busy people, they paid no attention to him at all. 

Once at ease, he knocked on the wooden door of a small house. 

Jeno answered the door, “Next time i’ll buy his medicine, have you heard the news?” the younger motioned for him to come inside. 

“Thank you for looking after him,” Yukhei replied and gave Jeno the cash he promised him of. 

“Anytime, Yukhei.” Jeno counted the money handed to him before putting it in his wallet. 

“How is he?” Yukhei asked, removing his cap to finally ruffle his dry hair. 

“Mark doesn’t want me inside his room, he’s also not in the mood to talk, but he’s eaten his meal for today.” Jeno responded. “I’ll be heading home now.” 

Yukhei nodded and let Jeno out of the small house he’s managed to afford in Busan. 

“Mark?” he knocked while on the doorstep, making his presence known before entering the room. But of course there was no reply so he just entered anyway. 

He caught Mark wiping his tears away again, another part of him dies every time. He can’t help but blame himself that the other couldn’t even live normally nor receive proper treatment since he’d be imprisoned if they went to a hospital. 

“Hi Yukhei, how was outside?” Mark tried to sound like he wasn’t crying a few moments ago. 

“I brought you pain killers, I hope it will ease the pain somehow.” Yukhei said, placing the medicine on top of the table while he sat next to Mark on his bed. 

“You didn’t have to, we don’t have much money left yet-“ 

“I can’t bear it, I can’t just sit here and hear you cry because of the pain and this is the least I could do. Please let me take care of you.” Yukhei held back tears, he couldn’t stand seeing Mark like that especially that it was his fault he’s in extreme pain. 

“You’ve always wanted to be a doctor,” Mark leaned on Yukhei’s shoulder. Their position was very comforting, as if everything was going well. If only they could stay like that for eternity. 

“I did?” Yukhei doesn’t remember anything from his childhood, he had only been reminded of it when Mark tells him stories. 

“Yeah,” Mark laced his fingers on Yukhei’s, “And I wanted to be an author back then.” 

Yukhei hoped he was stuck on being a child, he missed his innocence. He missed having dreams. 

“You asked me if you were a chore for me back then,” Mark doesn’t know why Yukhei brought that up. 

“Mhm?” he hummed whilst drawing circles on Yukhei’s hand. 

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way, but I want you to know that I want this.” Yukhei cupped Mark’s face and kissed his forehead, “I want to protect you, I want to be with you.” 

“We’ll have to give up at one point,” Mark realistically said. “We can’t keep on hiding from the police, we can’t continue living like this for who knows how long.” 

“I know, Mark. I do.” Yukhei said with another kiss on his forehead, then he kissed his cheek that was stained with tears. “But let’s not think about that right now, would you like to dance with me?” 

Mark held his hand up, “Guide me, Yukhei.” 

Yukhei led the two of them to the kitchen and turned the radio on, he placed his other hand on Mark’s waist for support. 

Mark leaned his head on Yukhei’s chest, their height difference making Mark look so small that Yukhei can cover him wholly with his body. 

They swayed to the music, Mark was humming to the tune of the song while Yukhei lovingly stared at him. 

In the mad dog’s head, they were back at being kids, hiding from their parents as they danced like that. He held Mark close because it felt as though he’s going to lose him at any given moment. 

Perhaps he was right, because his fears came to life with a knock on their door. Yukhei realized the radio stopped playing the music and that they’ve been dancing with no sounds on, Mark could only listen to his heart beats. 

“Wong Yukhei you can turn yourself in, we are surrounding you. There’s no other way out.” the voice from outside their house yelled. 

Mark held his hand, that was as cold as ice. 

“Yukhei..” 

“I know,” he smiled and kissed Mark’s lips like it was the last. 

Yukhei opened the door and just as expected, many police officers were outside. 

“I am arresting you, Wong Yukhei, on suspicion of homicide and kidnapping. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court.“ the policeman said and then proceeded to cuff him. 

Since he was being cuffed, he let go of Mark’s hand. Before entering the police car, he saw how Mark was guided inside an ambulance. 

And that was enough for him.


	7. farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first time writing an ending of a chaptered fic !! thank you for those who took their time to read this work, i hope i can write more in the future if i have the time. ciao!

“Would you rather have someone who’s willing to kill for you, or someone who’s willing to die for you?” 

Mark didn’t understand Yukhei back when they were small. 

“What’s the difference? It’s both wrong.” 

But Yukhei, even when they were young, viewed every thing differently. To him, it was either white or black. 

Mark though, was the only gray area. Yukhei doesn’t know where to put him, maybe he doesn’t want to put Mark into any category. 

“The difference is that,” Seven years old Yukhei paused for a while, he bit his lips as he thought of the difference as well.

Mark thought it was cute, how Yukhei would sound sure yet still be uncertain.

Mark liked uncertainty, that’s something he learned about himself as he grew up.

“Well.. they’re both wrong.” Yukhei replied, agreeing to what Mark said earlier. 

“Why did you ask me that question then?” Mark glanced at Yukhei, who was busy staring at the ceiling. 

“Because I heard it from Dad’s friends.” Yukhei answered, letting out a loaded sigh. “Dad chose the first one, by the way, I expected him to choose the second option but he didn’t.” 

“Those are adult talk, we shouldn’t listen.” Mark replied, kissing the silliness off of Yukhei’s forehead. 

There were certain events in Yukhei’s childhood that led him into thinking that he didn’t deserve more.

Mark didn’t catch on to this until he found out that Yukhei worked for Mother because he was compelled to believe that she was the only person that could suffice the void he felt from his parents’ absence. 

Mark knew he had to save Yukhei from Mother, because what Yukhei thought was love was a distorted illusion of what his father imposed on him.

Love shouldn’t be suffocating. 

They were once little kids hiding from their fathers, to dance as the night progressed, to whisper confessions until they had forgotten about it the next day. 

Mark loved Yukhei, and he still does. But he also knew that Yukhei needed to understand the depth of the things he did. Because Mark knows how to love Yukhei, and that was by luring him away from danger. 

His eyes brightened upon seeing Yukhei again, it was six months after he'd been arrested. Although seeing him was bittersweet, him and his tired looking eyes that felt like it was begging for the heavens to end his suffering, his shaky hands touched with cold metals of a cuff, his jet black hair that appeared messy even from afar. 

“Mark?” was the first words Yukhei said when he saw him visit. His eyes were suddenly lit with hope and reassurance. 

“I’m here,” Mark said while a glass separated the two of them and he had to say it through the phone. 

“You can get out of the hospital now?” Yukhei smiled at him, but his eyes couldn’t keep the lie that he was not having a hard time. “Do you need money to pay the bills? I can try asking for-“ 

“Hey, hey.” Mark tried to calm him down, if only he could pinch his cheek or hug him he would’ve. “I’ve got it all covered, I got out of the hospital two months ago but I was only allowed to get out of my house today.” 

“What? Who took care of you?” Yukhei looked concerned, he imagined Mark struggling alone. And it was not something he’d want to envision again. 

“Jeno visits me when he’s not busy and his friend comes with him sometimes. They’re nice company so you don’t have to worry about me.” Mark replied. “How about you, how are you?” 

Yukhei’s face was unreadable, it wasn’t sad but it also wasn’t happy. 

“I missed you so much,” Yukhei’s voice sounded softer with each word. 

“We’ll see each other often I promise,” Mark raised his pinky and so Yukhei did the same. 

“But it’s not the same, Mark.” Yukhei was internally cursing himself for being so negative. Why can’t he think like how Mark does? 

“It’s not,” Mark replied. “But once you’re out, we can live together, hold hands, I can take care of you, I promise, all you need to do is trust me.” 

“Mark, listen to me okay?” Yukhei’s guilt was eating him up alive, devouring him whole until nothing’s left but his aching heart and broken soul. Every time he sees Mark he’s reminded of the things he committed and those things haunted him. “I love you but you can’t continue doing this to yourself, I don’t-“ 

“You don’t?” Mark felt like he was about to fall apart once more as if they were going to be separated again. 

“I don’t want to see you again,” the coldness in the latter’s voice felt like a jab at Mark’s weak heart. 

“You- Did I do something? I can try doing better please tell me-“ Mark tried to bargain. 

“No, I worded it wrong.” Yukhei cleared, “I don’t like seeing you like this.” 

“Oh,” 

“You don’t have to wait for me, become somebody else’s, give yourself the time to heal, live the life you’re supposed to have and don’t wait up on me.” By the time Yukhei was done talking, Mark was speechless. 

So Yukhei decided to add on, “You don’t have to wait for me because I’ll be the one doing that. Enjoy your life as I wait for you for twelve years, if even after those years and I’m out of here and you still want to be with me then I’ll be happy to be with you. But once i’m out and you’re already happy and content with your life, and you won’t need me anymore then that would mean so much to me too and I’ll let you be.” 

“Yukhei,” Mark held the telephone close to his ear, his tears were streaming down his face but the other couldn’t do anything but watch. “I loved you ever since we were five, I still love you now that we’re twenty and I’ll love you for another twenty years.” 

Yukhei raised his hand to the glass that separated them, Mark did the same as he brought his hand up to touch with Yukhei’s bigger hand against the glass. 

“I love you too, Mark.” It was only one of the few times Mark got to hear it from the other. “Be happy.” 

“I am happy,” Mark never wanted to break a glass so much in his life before. It was that easy yet it was the most difficult feeling too. “Please, say it again.” 

“I love you,” replied Yukhei with no hesitation. 

Mark smiled at him as he nodded, “You can go now,” Yukhei said. 

Mark turned around and bid his farewell, not knowing Yukhei cried the very moment he was out of sight. 


End file.
